Ask for What You Want; Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed

According to the Webster’s dictionary truth is defined as: archaic: fidelity, constancy b : sincerity in action, character, and utterance (1) : the state of being the case : fact (2) : the body of real things, events, and facts : actuality (3) often capitalized : a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality. And the word authentic is defined as: worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact <paints an authentic picture of our society>: not false or imitation : real, actual true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. 

I have come to a new awareness of self. The aforementioned definition of truth and authentic are very important to my new awareness and the meaning of the saying closed mouths don’t get fed. I liked to take a moment to expound.

As a child I couldn’t speak up about things, and sometimes I was force to sooth my mother by lying. How tragic, a child forced to lie for the sake of appeasing their caregiver, in pursuit of survival.  I know what you are thinking, “Come on you didn’t need to lie!”  What was I to do? My mother’s bi-polar state, and the concern for the safety of my brother and me, put my back against the wall.  I make no justification for lying; stretching the truth, or embellishing but when you are in survival mode sometimes you must do what you have to do when your safety may be in jeopardy.  At the age of eight facing what seemed like insurmountable odds, again I ask, “What would you do?”  Question; at this juncture, could lying to insure your safety be considered wisdom? Many would argue, what would you say?

I disclosed that information because we learn things as children which we carry into our adult lives. I have always considered myself a pretty honest person. However, I am not nor will I sit here and act as a saint, which brings me to my point. When you don’t speak your mind, you’re being dishonest. How is this possible? Well, because exemption of the truth in most cases is considered being untruthful. When you deny saying what you mean you aren’t being authentic. I’ve opted not to say something out of fear of how it may be perceived and it cost more than if I flat out lied.

How does this relate to the above saying, closed mouths don’t get fed? Well, when we are not asking for what we want, we deny ourselves the right to live authentically. You are in essence lying about your wants. If you have a desire for something then you’re required to do what it takes to get it, which includes speaking up and saying what you want. A closed mouth will never get feed. However, as a child I was learning to be unauthentic to survive, and even today, when faced with an issue I struggle to be authentic to avoid confrontation. It is something I actively stay aware and work on.

Over the last year I have been learning what it is to be authentic. I had to look at how the illusion of confidence can be amplified when you are not being genuine. A confident person is a truthful person, a person who does not fear the backlash of what will happen if they are honest, but rather what blessings come from being real and true to themselves. 

“It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.” 

 By Oriah Mountain Dreamer from The Invitation

In confidence you, your words, and your actions are truth. An arrogant man is a man who speaks loudly to be heard and seen of men.  This person will do anything to win the hearts of those he is trying to impress. Arrogance is derived from the Latin word arrogate which means to claim or seize without justification, and last time I checked, to seize, which means take without justification isn’t very authentic, because if you are justified in your pursuits you have no reason to take, you simply ask. Now, that’s Gurl Knowledge!